Divorce mediation for Philadelphia and Southern New Jersey by William H. Donahue, Jr., Esq., APM		Are you ...

Articles & News

Transitions Mediation Center provides this section to people interested in learning more about mediation and how it can make a difference in their future.

The Power of an Apology

There's a fascinating article by Dina Haddad in a recent issue of the Mediate.com newsletter. In it she talks about the healing power of an apology offered at almost any stage of the divorce process. In the article she talks about the benefits and risks of offering an apology and more importantly talks about the right and wrong ways to apologize.

What kinds of apologies may be needed? As most married couples know, there’s always something you can apologize for – whether it’s for behavior you know was wrong, or for hurts inflicted needlessly.

Haddad acknowledges that apologizing can be difficult, but concludes that the benefits, when done correctly, outweigh the risks.

What are the risks? Well, it may not work – your spouse may not accept your apology. Or, you may feel that an apology gives your spouse a chance to feel superior to you. But on the other hand, an apology could defuse your ex’s anger and resentment, making it easier to negotiate a fair settlement in mediation.

But, says Haddad, there’s a right and a wrong way to apologize. Here are her tips:

DON’T:

* Be half-hearted. Apologies must be sincere to work.

* Be skeptical: “I’m sorry IF I hurt you” – that sounds like you don’t really believe it.

* Be passive: “Mistakes were made…” – take full responsibility: “I made mistakes.”

* Acknowledge the offense.

* Communicate genuine remorse.

* Provide an explanation for your actions

* Offer to make amends, where possible.

It's Your Call With Lynn Doyle, Comcast Network

Transitions Mediation Center's William H. Donahue, Jr. appeared on Lynn Doyle's popular show recently, to discuss couples who get divorced after many years of marriage. The topic was in the news due to the recent announcement by Al and Tipper Gore that they were getting divorced.

The Comcast Network’s Emmy Award-winning “It’s Your Call with Lynn Doyle” is now in its 14th season. In June 2010, Retirement Living TV (www.RL.TV) launched the program nationally to more than 14 million homes on Channel 175 on Comcast.

Splitting Retirement Accounts in Divorce. What is a QDRO?

Dividing retirement benefits with a soon-to-be ex-spouse is often one of the most emotional issues in a divorce. It is a prime issue for mediation. A recent article in The Wall St. Journal addressed some of the complexities of Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDRO), and how best to deal with them. It is well worth reading.

In simple terms, a QDRO is a court order requiring a pension or 401K administrator to divide a spouse's retirement assets according to their agreement. The article discusses the importance of preparing the QDRO properly.

Philadelphia Magazine July 2009

Transitions Director William H. Donahue Jr. is interviewed on the benefits of mediation.

http://www.phillymag.com/articles/pulse_chatter_matrimony_the_marriage_penalty/

Audio Interview

Click here to listen to an audio interview of William Donahue on the subject of: "Are you cheating on your job to work on your divorce?" (100 MB)

Other Articles

Divorce mediation: it's time for a revolution
Mediation is a cost-effective, civilized alternative for couples seeking divorce.

Divorce mediation: one couple's story (the introduction to Reconcilable Differences) Mediation? We can't be in the same room!
How mediation works for really angry couples.

Lawyers in the mediation process
Your attorney does have a role in divorce mediation. Learn how.

When should you see a mediator?
It's never too early, or too late, to seek help with divorce mediation.

Mediation and children: what's really in their best interest?
Read how mediation will help you create a parenting plan that meets the needs of everyone in the family.

Mediation and child support: it's about more than money
Parents must develop a parenting plan to make sure all bases are covered.

Mediating a parenting plan that works
Working out a successful plan upfront prevents future conflicts.

Equitable distribution: who gets what?
Deciding what is fair can be more complicated than splitting everything 50-50.

Mediation: can everybody win?
Most conflicts do have a win/win solution, but finding it often takes a lot of hard work, creativity and imagination.

Alimony: who should pay it and how much?
Get a handle on this highly emotional issue in divorce.

Workplace and employment mediation
Learn why companies use in-house mediation programs to give their employees an effective, private and cost-efficient way to resolve almost any work place problem.

The role counseling plays in divorce mediation
Learn about the similarities and differences of marriage counseling and mediation, and how they work together.

Web Sites for More Information about Mediation

Association for Conflict Resolution
A professional organization dedicated to enhancing the practice and public understanding of conflict resolution

an attorney

whose client needs a mediator?

a marriage counselor

whose client needs a mediator?

an HR professional

assisting divorcing employees?